I hope things get better but I feel like they won’t. My whole life is turned upside down and all I want to do is cry.

Yesterday and today has been unbelievably hard. My husband and I have been fighting and to top it off my father was being a total douche bag to me. We did talk it out though. :) Today wasn’t so bad though. My daughter and I got to meet my friend Britney’s precious little boy Davion! He held her hand it was sooo freakin cute!! :) I tried a jello temptation today I think I know what my new favorite snack will be! And also I had a faint POSITIVE pregnancy test. I will be testing again tomorrow morning.

Hey loves! This is my first official blog update on my daughter. After this one I will update every Wednesday. 

1. What is your name?
Heather Nicole

2. What is the father’s name?
Justin Steven

3. What is your child’s name?
Skyla Naomi

4. When did you fall pregnant?
February 2011 but I found out in March 2011 

5. What was happening in the world when you fell pregnant?
Japan has a major earthquake.
Earthquake In Japan

6. Was the pregnancy a surprise, or were you actively trying to have a baby?
We weren’t trying nor preventing.

7. Was your pregnancy smooth? Did you have any complications?
I had lots of complications. At 11 weeks I had to go to the ER for puking blood up. then at 12 weeks 6 days we had to go to a high risk doctor because my doctor thought he found a fibroid. It turned out be nothing. At 16 weeks 3 days the high risk doctor said that I had a low lying placenta which meant if the placenta did not move up that I would have to have a c-section. At 23 weeks pregnant the placenta had moved up. At 33 weeks pregnant I didn’t feel any movement so my Doctor had me go to L&D for monitoring. I was put on bed rest. At 34 weeks my water became extremely low so I was admitted in the hospital to get an IV and monitored. At 34 weeks 5 days my water broke. My baby was born 5 weeks early.

8. When and how was your baby born?
Born October 7th 2011. She was born vaginally with an epidural and pitocin. My water broke early for no reason what so ever. I was not dilated nor effaced.

9. How did you feel when you held your baby for the first time?
I didn’t get to hold Skyla till she was 2 hours old. I was so happy to hold her and see her for the first time. I couldn’t believe this miracle came from Justin and I.

10. Was your baby born healthy?
Yeah. She was breathing on her own. She regulated her own body temp. She ate great. She had jaundice and one episode of apnea. She stayed in the NICU for a week because of the apnea episode.

11. How big was your baby? 
6lbs 2oz
18 1/4 in long

12. How did it feel when baby came home?
AMAZING. I was so excited and so happy to show the world this beautiful baby we made.

13. Did your baby cry a lot?
Yes. SO MUCH.

14. Did you bottle feed or breastfeed?
Skyla was in the NICU so I had to breast pump the first week. We tried breastfeeding but she just wouldn’t latch. I pumped for 2 weeks then put her on the breast for another week. By then my milk supply got so low she wouldn’t get full. So we switch to formula. She kept throwing up so we switched to similac then found out her tummy was sensitive to milk proteins so we switched to enfamil lipil.

15. Cloth nappies or disposables?
Disposables

16. What colour is your baby’s nursery, and what is the theme?
Pink and giraffes

17. How much did you spend on your big baby items, such as pram/cot/bassinet/nursery etc.
I got my crib for 100 bucks but we don’t use it she sleeps in her cradle swing. We spent maybe 200 bucks. She shares a room with us.

18. How old is your baby now?
5 months and a week.

19. What does your baby’s name mean?
“scholar” and “shielding”
We didn’t name her for the meaning.

20. Who does your baby look most like, mum or dad?
I think daddy! She has my nose but that is it. She acts like me though.

Weight: about 15-16 lbs
Height: 26 in

A list of things Skyla is doing.

• Sitting up without support for a >30 seconds
• Eating solids
• Can raise her self up using her hands while on her tummy
• Roll over from back to tummy and tummy to back
• Babbling/Cooing/Screaming
• Holding toys
• Notices objects
• Laughs/Giggles
• Holds her bottle
• Teething
• Separation Anxiety 
• Learning emotions
• Holds her own weight
• Watches TV
• Plays with her feet
• Socializes

Recently she got off schedule and is now not going to bed till 4 in the morning. We think she is going through another growth spurt. We didn’t realize how big she was till we went to see her cousin who is 5 days younger then her. Her cousin was born full term and up until 5 months was twice the size of Skyla. Now Skyla is bigger.

Skyla’s nicknames are Sky, Booger Face, and Butt Head. She loves to be held in the air and tickled. She loves to scream at you and laugh about it. We started filling the bath tub an inch high and letting her lay in there. She loves her baths this way. Her hair is thinning out but I don’t think she will lose all of her hair. Her eyes are still grey and hair still brownish red.

I think that’s it. :)

I’m thinking of making my blog into an update blog with my daily life and daughter :) I think it would be fun. I’ll post blogs everyday (well I will try to) and once a week post an update on my daughter. :) That way I can look back on it. I have horrible grammar and my spelling is off. :) But this is mainly for me and if you would like to follow and stuff that would be great! I want to make new friends and compare our kids together!

starbucks chocolate chip frappuccino

I’d like one with extra milk and chocolate syrup!! :D

I wish things would get better soon. :/ This month has been horrible. My little girl was hospitalized because her bronchiolitis got so bad she was having trouble breathing. She was sick for 2 weeks. Now shes constipated, has thrush again, and a horrible rash on her neck. I feel so bad for her. Besides her my husband lost his car and now is going to file a lawsuit against this insurance company for forgery. There has been some moments that were just beyond amazing! Like my husband and my anniversary. My daughter can hold her bottle and can sit up for a few seconds. :) She’s a preemie so I am so proud of her! I just can’t wait till everything gets better.

Today I thought about the old times. My friends, school, partying, smoking/drinking, fooling around, being careless, and reckless. I did what I want when I want and I didn’t have one care in the world. I hate to admit it but I thought “I wish it was like that again.” Then I turned to my little girl and husband and thought to myself “NEH, I have everything I want and more right here.” I am the happiest I have ever been. I actually love the responsibility of being a mother and wife.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but they are definitely not on of them.

:) 

i wanna congratulate you on not being a dumbass

(Source: beyondhighh, via ohitsoundsgoodtome)

Sleep would be nice right now.